SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING, LEGIONS OF READERS.
I don't like keeping a blog. So that's probably part of the problem. Also I created this bastard so I could share with the whole internets all the sweet stuff I write but I haven't written anything in a long long time. So that's another part.
I guess today's order of business then is Ceylon. You mean Sri Lanka? No man I mean the hypothetical band I may have made this weekend when my good friend and I made 12 bars of nonsense on Garageband by singing an excerpt from The Home Medical Advisor over a G chord. This was an older edition of the Home Medical Advisor, you see: the first to ever be put to writing. Before this development The Home Medical Advisor had been passed down orally, and to facilitate its memorisation it was composed in a catchy rhyming metre. So when it was finally written down in 932 AD the rhymes were preserved in the transcription for the amusement of future generations. I didn't know that either.
So that means we're in the future...? Where are the robots?
Oh right Ceylon. When we get more songs we'll play in bars and you can pay 5 dollars to sit at a table and shout over us and text your friends! And at the end you can say "Sweet show bro" and I can say "Thanks man I got your text."
Maybe you know about this phenomenon. I get a bunch of texts from a girl I know and she likes to double or triple the last letter of some words as if to imply that if they had been uttered in real life they might have had some cute half-sung sustain that some people employ. So instead of Hey or Yes or Sweet or Stoked or Bored I get a lot of Heyy and Yess and Sweeeetttttt and Stokedddd and Boreddd. It's nice and everything and I totally understand the intention. It's to add emphasis. I use all caps to emphasise things myself, and that seems to be the funniest and most effective way to do it (definitely more effective that another method which is to Capitalise The Beginnings Of The Words You're Trying To Emphasise - that method is gayyyy). My qualm is that you can't draw out hard consonant sounds in real life. You can say Yesss but Ts and Ds and things are harder to do. IMPOSSIBLE I'D SAY. So go for the main vowels. Shit.
I've also learned recently that adding more mouths to smily faces makes them that many times more emotive. :)))))))))) is 10 times happier than :) according to texts I get.
If I saw THAT in real life I'd be creeped out. Put those mouths away man you're creepin me outtttt.
Still. Having said all that, I do really appreciate the practice of putting an UHH at the end of things to express your frustration. YOU'RE CREEPIN ME OUT-UHH. That's real. I've done that. When I was a tyke.
She is a really nice girl though.
